I know that most of you check my blog regularly to see if I still look the same, but this post is going to have some substance other than pictures of me. So if that's not okay with you, you might want to skip this one. :)
I've been volunteering at the Utah State Mental Hospital this semester for my Abnormal Psych class. That class has opened my eyes to a lot of evil, a lot of sadness that I'm still unsure that I really wanted to know about. This world is a terrible place! Yesterday at my volunteering activity, I witnessed a crazy episode of insanity with a sweet little 10 year old. Something happened he had a fit of rage where he screamed at the top of his lungs every cuss word I've heard in the greatest density I've ever heard it - it was terrible. He then proceeded to pick up a table that was 4 times his size, throw it across the room, and start beating up another 10 year old girl sitting on the coach. Only after having all 4 limbs pinned to the ground by staff for 20 minutes (still screaming obscenities for the first 10 minutes) was he able to calm down. It was scary. But what's scarier is this kid's background - which is polluted by every kind of abuse you can think of. What a sad, sad life. My heart is broken for him. Life is so so so not fair. But I believe some day it will be, and that's something I just have to trust.
I've wondered about these kids - who are put in the mental hospital with 10 other kids with similar backgrounds. Does the mental hospital even help them? Does removing them from a family situation and putting them in a situation where they are one of 20 really help them? Do they actually have mental disorders or is their family just too messed up for them to live there? I wonder. Sometimes I think that I should help them, do social work - I've got the experience to get into a good program (an internship this past summer, volunteering, pre-reqs) but I'm starting to realize why people say it is incredibly emotionally-taxing. Could I really do that? Hear that? And try to help that? But if I don't, who will? Who's going to help them?
I want to really do good where good is needed.
Oh dear, Lindsey, that experience sounds awful! I've often thought that mental health issues are the saddest of all illnesses and they are easily the least understood. There is a lot of evil in the world and environment undoubtably plays a role in the emotions you see at the mental hospital. Is the hospital a better place than their homes? For a lot of them, probably. And no, life is NEVER fair. It won't ever be "fair" if we are judging earth life alone because it is not. My heart aches for children in these situations. Social work is a tough field. I've dabbled in it. The unfortunate thing is that the social worker has very little power to change anything. They are bound by rules, regulations, and restrictions. And unless the person in trouble WANTS to change, there isn't much the SW can do until the damage is already done. Sorry - this comment isn't much of an upper either. It all makes me grateful for the functionality I enjoy in my own life and makes me add an extra prayer for those suffering in unimaginable ways.
ReplyDeletewow. . . that really is sad! And not an easy question to answer. It makes me very glad that I'm not the judge of anyone when all of this is said and done. Where much is given, much is required-- of US. Really, if you did decide to do it, I'm sure there is some ammount of good you could do.
ReplyDeleteMan, that sounds like a horrible thing to witness. I know what you mean about wanting to help. I sometimes have those same kinds of questions, especially about children who suffer. I don't know all of the answers, but it is comforting to know that the Lord knows. It kind of reminds me of the scripture that the parent's sins will be answered upon their children - not so much because the Lord wants to curse the children, but because the consequences of the parent's actions sadly often fall upon their posterity.
ReplyDeleteI do think SW is a very tough field - you deal with a lot of abuse, drugs, mental illness and additions, all of which are difficult to 'bring people out of.' Oftentimes, it's a vicious cycle passed down from generations. I think helping these kids see a vision of another life, a better life for themselves, that they CAN change the cycle for themselves is one of the best things you could do for them.