It's "Happy Day" in the office. Which means: wear yellow and feel good all day. It's been wonderful.I have some news....
Against all rational reasoning, I have a crush on a boy.
Yes. It's true. Sometimes I wonder why on earth I still like them. Afterall, most of my experiences in the past have been negative and any reasoning lends me to make the conclusion that I don't need them. Nope. But then somehow I end up liking them again...and well, it's hopeless.
It's nothing big, don't freak out. In fact, there is a 99.999999999% chance that it won't go anywhere. It probably won't. But, it's still entertaining to like him.
Are you thinking, "Wow, isn't Lindsey 24, almost 25, almost a QUARTER OF A CENTURY!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" (that's a subject for another post entirely) Why is she acting like a teenie-bopper?
Sorry. I'll be rational and mature.
I've been insanely busy these days. It seems that somehow every minute of everyday is eaten up by some task or job I have to do - and I have little time to do stuff that I like to do, like go running up in the mountains of Ptown, or drink chocolate soy milk, or just sit there and do nothing. All of which have been sucked into the black hole of homework and school. Black. Hole.
Anyway. Right now I have a few minutes to relax - and update you all (since you've been checking my blog anxiously wondering why on earth I haven't posted anything). These past few weeks I've had the occasional freak-out sessions of "OH MY GOSH I'm not married" (a product of this culture, not me, I swear) and the more occasional freak-out sessions of "OH MY GOSH what am I going to do with my Liiiiiiiiffeeee!??" but it's been good overall. I ran into He-who-cannot-be-named yesterday and talked to him for the first time in 5 months (Kevin). We talked about what he was doing in his future and what I'm doing in mine (I faked it and acted like I knew the answer to that, I'm getting better at that, fyi). The conversation was simple and superficial and may or may not have led me to re-hash our relationship mentally but now. Now. I have realized that I have forgiven him. I have moved on mentally and emotionally. And I think I'm pretty proud of myself. Although I'm pretty sure that it has a lot to do with my study of the Atonement in the topical guide for the past month and a little to do with the passing of time.
Time. That's a token of hope.
I'm taking a ceramics class and I am doing a project, a "reliquary" as my hippie teacher calls it. A box where I put something uber-important to me. Because she wanted me to dig deeper than just a "box" I decided to make a box where I put all of life's tokens of hope inside. For the past year or so, this has been a big theme. The idea of hope. The idea that there are tokens of hope in life everywhere no matter how bad you think things are - growth, spring, change, a child's laughter, a stranger's smile, repentance, the Atonement.
What are some tokens of hope in your life?
(response is not obligatory)
Lindsey! I love to see that you posted! You always make me smile, so even though you're busy I'm glad you found the time to write a little =) I love the idea of tokens of hope. I want to start my hope box, too. My token of hope for today is Emmy's curiosity as she crawled around looking at everything new in her life!!! And how nicely Joshua and Andrew are playing with cars. And that it's 69 degrees in January! Miss you! So glad that you found a boy to be interested in, too!
ReplyDeleteI love your musings! You are so honest and open in your postings - very bold and brave of you to admit that you have a crush on cyberspace. Does he or his friend have access to your blog?
ReplyDeleteI'm SO GLAD to hear that you're getting over he-who-cannot-be-named.
Lastly, my tokens of hope? Hmm. Beauty in nature is one of my favorite. Quiet early morning moments of silence where the spirit whispers peace. Sweetly-scented candles. Warm showers. A good run. The Book of Mormon. A smile from a stranger at the grocery store. Little kids' laughter and smiles. A father walking his daughter in a stroller outside. A hug from a family member. . . .
Lastly, are you going to put my face in your hope box?? :)
Oh hey,,,
ReplyDeleteHere are my tokens of hope for my ceramic hippy granola box thing:
1) Professional wrestling
2) Maintaining control of the soccer field (don't ever forget the infamous ultimate frisbee incident in NC in 2009)
3) Getting a splinter out that has been in too long
4) The sounds Liesel makes when she sleeps
5) Judging the size of potential Christmas trees on ridgetops at long distance
6) And of course, reading "Oh Hey".
I love that Liesel made Brian's hope list, but I didn't. Great. Mine would be:
ReplyDelete1)Holding it when I have to go to the bathroom. Nothing like a little postpartum incontinence to remind you how great it is not to worry when you cough/touch hot water etc. . . .
2)Liesel's smile.
3)Liesel's cough.
4)Liesel's fuzzy head.
5)Peanut butter. NO matter how hard things get or how hungry I am, I can always count on a peanut butter spoon.
Lindsey, nice post! Just want you to know it's a little known fact that making time for a 3 minute glass of chocolate soy milk dramatically improves study skills and life planning. Make the time, sister! You won't regret it.
ReplyDeleteAs for my hope, I think that's a subject I should ponder more often in my life. Sometimes life just feels hopeless....but it's not. Here are few things from my box:
A good cry - always makes me feel more hopeful to purge the soul
A four year old's gratitude
Bowl of good quality ice cream
Remembering past successes
The moon
A two year old's shout of "HI" to a stranger across the store
Peaceful feeling you get when all is silent and you feel safe at home
Hope things are going well. Love you, Lindsey!