Intentional Living in 2012

New Years is probably one of my favorite holidays. In the Hatch home, it means personal pan pizzas, dancing, and homemade confetti fights. It means sparkling cider, movies, and games. It means all the junk food I can eat. It means bean dip and chips.

But also means rejoicing for a good year lived full of blessings, and hope for a better year.

On December 26, 2011 I reached my 3-year-home-from-the-mission anniversary. I always reflect back on the last year and think if I have made progress or not. This year I have thought a lot about the person I am and who I am becoming or not becoming. I decided to re-read my journal entries from 2011. It was an interesting experience and I learned a few things about myself. Here are just a few highlights from 2011: (including accomplishments, events, or things I've learned)


1. Worked as a TA and, more importantly, realized I love teaching
2. Studied harder than I ever have in my Microbiology class, succeeded
3. Developed new talents, learned somewhat how to think artistically- took Ceramics and "loved" it
4. In the span of 1 year, mentioned and/or discussed in detail my level of interest in nine different boys
5. Successfully (?) survived transition from undergrad to post-undergrad
6. Thrived after a breakup
8. Was able to build relationships here in DYSA and make new friends - reach out to people
9. Moved in the direction of nursing (studied for test, got certification, went to Duke, almost got job - realized I didn't want to do it)
10. Learned that life is not a race with a time-limit and sometimes the pace of our lives just slows down. And that's ok. Also learned that revelation comes piece by piece, line upon line, and it's okay to not know what you are doing in the future. Learned to overcome anxiety and accept uncertainties.
11. Continued to build my testimony that God is there as we struggle and grow.
12. Learned the value of not running from problems but instead repenting repeatedly when you make the same mistake again.
13. Learned that it's okay to move in one direction and change your mind.
14. Learned to recognize motives for my decisions: Why do I want a certain profession or why do I walk away from it? Learning that wordly concerns about how you appear to others or how much the profession is respected is not a good reason to do or not do something.
15. Learned that any work is better than no work.

Apart from learning that I talk about boys way too much, I learned a lot of things about myself, which has spurred the setting of a series of goals for 2012. I am trying to focus this year on becoming someone that I want to become. It has already helped in the past few days when I feel inclined to respond to a certain situation negatively. Instead of doing what I would do naturally (Mosiah 3:19), I have been trying to "yield" to the Holy Ghost and make my actions more intentional. I have had thoughts like, "Is this action in line with the person I want to be?" or "What kind of person do I want to be and what do I do to be that person?" I have a lot of progress to make and fall short continually, but I feel at peace and happy. I haven't felt this happy in a long time.

I read this quote yesterday that really hit me and that has changed my perspective on dating/marriage and being single. I have heard it before, but it has affected me more deeply recently, after reading about the nine different boys/almost-relationships I wrote about in my journal. It was said by Gordon B. Hinckley in General Conference 1996 in a talk called Women of the Church.

"Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospects will brighten immeasurably.

I believe that for most of us the best medicine for loneliness is work, service in behalf of others. I do not minimize your problems, but I do not hesitate to say that there are many others whose problems are more serious than are yours. Reach out to serve them, to help the, to encourage them. There are so many boys and girls who fail in school for want of a little personal attention and encouragement. There are so many elderly people who live in misery and loneliness and fear for whom a simple conversation would bring a measure of hope and happiness."