New Head.

Red.
Usually when I have some boy I broke up with, or want to move on from, doing something to my hair symbolizes a fresh start. However, this time it just backfired...aaaaand now I feel worse because I know he'll probably think "Boy I'm glad I broke up with her before she did that to her hair!" I also got bangs cut. My hair is too course for bangs. They look bushy and just pop out, don't lay nicely on my forehead like most people. Yeah... ps. the pictures don't do it justice, it looks way worse in person, trust me...

Today I felt so embarrassed that I left campus to come home at 2 pm and put a headband on to hide the streaky lines on my head. Gross.

Things I will never again do to my hair:
1. dye it red
2. get bangs
3. any combination of the above.

Needless to say, I already have another hair appointment to re-dye my hair back to its normal color...hopefully my hair won't fall out in the process due to damage...

my current loves.

So, I actually haven't updated lately for lack of knowing what to say or how to say it, although I've had a billion thoughts going through my head the last few days. Today I feel quietly contemplative and content. Some things that I am grateful for the past few days and that continue to pull me out of the emotional slums and into an appreciation for myself and the world around me:

(Oh I know you love these lists don't you!)
LOVES OF MY LIFE

1. Running. I didn't do it last semester, I'll be honest. But with the eminent and formidable Moab 1/2 marathon race I've already committed myself to financially, and the weight of emotions I have experienced so keenly, I've somehow managed to find great motivation. It has saved me. I realize some of you may say "Well, didn't you hate it like a month ago??" Yeah yeah yeah...sometimes I just need space. But it makes me appreciate it even more when I do do it.

2. Music, yes music. It keeps me focused for hours on end in the library as I study. It speaks to my soul (Billy Joel, I love you.) It's fun to dance to. It helps me feel the Spirit. It's beautiful. Isn't it cool that our voices can make such a beautiful sound together?? (I'm in a chorus class this semester)

3. The Sabbath Day. Leaves me feeling invigorated and fulfilled. Love it. I am especially grateful for callings that allow us to have perspective, focus in our prayers, and develop talents and love for others.

4. Matchmaking. In case you guys don't know (you probably don't, because you are my siblings...let's be honest no one else reads this), I love love love setting people up. I figure, hey, if I know this guy, and he's not interested in me (or I in him), there's got to be some reason I know him right? Set him up! Plus, I (most of the time) like to go on blind dates (although I prefer real ones) so yeah. Maybe it's because I so far have failed at finding my own match. Or maybe it's because I just love Fiddler on the Roof that much. Today I set two of my friends up with two others friends. I can't wait to see the results. Heh, heh.

5. Listening to conference talks while cooking, my new fav hobbie. Try it and you'll understand.

So yeah. Life definitely has its ups and downs, and strangely/pathetically ironic parts to it. For example, I don't know if any of you remember the boy I liked from my mission. His name was David. If you can scroll back to the Halloween entry, you'll see a pic of him and I with some other friends making pizza. Well, he turned out to be not interested, and hurt my pride temporarily in the process. Well I found out this past weekend, he is dating Jeff's ex-girlfriend. Oh what a painfully small world it is. Oh the irony!

I will write a book someday. Time for bed.

Love, Lindsey

January 2010. Bam.

Like Angelayla, I've always loved the New Year. It reminds me of being frozen at the starting line of a big race, waiting for the gunshot to signal the opportunity for all of last year's "training" to be enacted. In past years, I've gotten a little over-zealous in goal-setting. What usually happens is I compartmentalize my life into spiritual, social, educational, etc... categories, evaluate my progress in each of those areas, set a number of goals for each area, some as vague as "eat less chocolate" or "be more patient" and then step off the plane with vigor and promise in the New Year and semester. I'm frankly not surprised that most of my goals don't come to fruition during the year. Usually I follow through with them for a month (if I'm lucky) and then forget about them in the business of life. I usually accomplish a few of them (the ones I set, knowing I would accomplish them anyway). But this year I'm trying something different.

I still think that evaluating yourself and progress is important and vital to not stagnating your growth/progress or plateauing. But I think my problem has been that I don't evaluate myself often enough. I've decided that my main goal this year is .....(are you excited?)....

To set weekly goals (and daily goals...plan my days) and re-evaluate myself every sunday.

Bam! Apart from a few bigger goals, I think this is more do-able. What do you think?

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Just finished my first week of classes back at the B to the Y to the U.

It has been an interesting week, full of challenges, inspiration, emotional extremes. Good. I finally have my classes all added and my schedule set in stone. My Chinese class looks daunting, to say the least. I left the class balling on the first day because my teacher was so intimidating. I'm still terrified of her, and her expectations, and 1/2 dread going to class everyday. I don't think I've ever heard such a feeling of complete inadequacies in any of my classes. However, I've also heard that she is the best professor in the Chinese department, so yeah. I guess its worth my anxieties?