Pieces

D & I broke up.

Now what's left is for me to put together all the pieces and rebuild my life and future again. Not that I've lost myself, but I naturally build my life and future around the hope of it working out. So when it doesn't, I'm left with a bunch of pieces. Half of which are emotions. And a quarter of which are fears.

And on top of all of this, I'm forced to make some pretty big decisions all at once. I've semi-got offered a position to teach Dual Immersion third grade starting in August. It's kind of daunting to me. Don't tell the boss, but I haven't spoken or read Chinese in almost a year. Can I really teach math in Chinese? I'll have to spend a couple of hours re-learning the things I'll be teaching. It'll be like school, but this time I'm getting paid. And forced to perform every day. I might be a little uncomfrotable with the idea of stretching myself that much, even if I know that it'll probably be good in a hard kind of way.

Also...I'm embarrassed to admit the location of the position, so let's go ahead and state a "no judging policy" right now. It's in #cringe Provo. Utah. I really have not ever considered moving back to P-town. It was peachy those 5 1/2 years but that chapter of life has been closed. I thought, forever. Now I'm trying to wrap my mind around the idea of living there again. It's almost unwrapable. Part of me thinks, "I can live there for one school year and then opportunities will be greater outside of there because I will then have a year of teaching under my belt." Then another part of me thinks, "Another year in Provo?"

And plus, I've actually really come to love living in North Carolina and on the east coast.

Buuuut I can't afford to plateau, and it's getting too comfortable doing the things I do every day. And sometimes too uncomfortable, if that makes any sense.

.......

things i like

Jumping Dallin's.

Personal break-down's in my room on Friday nights. Lame? Maybe.

My niece Liesel!

Cheap sweaters from Goodwill that become my new fav.

the not-so-epic battle between virtue and vice

Alert!

It has been officially declared that, from this point forward, employees will be charged 0.25 per cookie consumed.

!!!!

I know, right. The battle begins between the heavenly virtue of frugality vs. the natural man tendency to consume sugar that is waifing into your nostrils. All of a sudden the word "nostrils" sounds really gross.

I guess it will be good for me. This is probably just what I needed.

But it does make me wonder, who tattled to the C.E.O. that I was eating four cookies a day? Maybe I did. After all, I can't help but confess to everyone who comes into the bank.

Them: "I don't know how you resist these cookies!"

Me: "....I don't! I average four a day!"

People usually chuckle, but then when they realize I'm serious, it gets a little awkward.

But no more! Alas, frugality will win. It was that "poor college student" mentality that got me eating those cookies in the first place (hello, they're free) and it will be that "poor college student" mentality that will keep me from eating them now (hello, they're not free).

wicked

The other day Ang, Cath and I won six $25 third-row tickets to see "Wicked." I loved it. I've heard all of my friends talking about it for a long time and I've been wondering what all the fuss is about. Well, now I know! I loved it! I thought the whole thing was super clever/witty and inspiring, too. We sure are lucky!

mayday, bad day gone good

Since apparently no one cares about me and my awesome boyfriend....(WHERE ARE THE COMMENTS, Y'ALL?) I thought I'd instead post about...

4 Things to make any girl's no-good-terrible day turn peachy:

1. Wailin Jennys. My sister Catherine converted me to this band and now I'm addicted. Forever changed, never to go back. I will now refer to my life/self as "Pre-WJ" and "Post-WJ." I just feel good when I listen to them. It also reminds me of singing with my sisters, although I'll be the first to admit that we don't sound nearly as good as WJ (no offense, sisters). So next time you feel like wailin, save yourself the energy and just let the Jennys do it. Seriously.

2. Hot rollers. If you're feeling like you're lacking some bounce in your step, why not add some flounce to your hair? After thinking about buying hot rollers for the past six months, I finally decided to buy some at, you guessed it, The Target. I love them. And they are so easy. Spend 10 minutes putting them in your hair, gawk at how funny you look in the mirror (hello, 50's), go about your other business, and 5 minutes later, BAM. Hair.


3. Sweat. You all know how much I believe in the power of exercise. It is a huge stress-reliever for me. Sometimes I even envision each of those drops of sweat carrying some other care or concern in it. And there is just something empowering in it. Something about taking control of yourself and situation. Doing something hard. Choosing to build yourself because of your problems (and muscles while you're at it) vs. choosing to remain passive.

4. Freebies. It's May, and I've decided to take control of this birthday (month) and make it the best ever. Because last year was crapball, and I'm pretty sure the year before was, too. And I will not have another lame birthday, mark my words. So I've started off this birthday month by researching all of the free things I can get (inspired by Boyfriend, who is Mr. Masterfrugal). I'm already getting a free mega-huge burrito from Moe's and some ColdStone. YES!