I know that most of you check my blog regularly to see if I still look the same, but this post is going to have some substance other than pictures of me. So if that's not okay with you, you might want to skip this one. :)
I've been volunteering at the Utah State Mental Hospital this semester for my Abnormal Psych class. That class has opened my eyes to a lot of evil, a lot of sadness that I'm still unsure that I really wanted to know about. This world is a terrible place! Yesterday at my volunteering activity, I witnessed a crazy episode of insanity with a sweet little 10 year old. Something happened he had a fit of rage where he screamed at the top of his lungs every cuss word I've heard in the greatest density I've ever heard it - it was terrible. He then proceeded to pick up a table that was 4 times his size, throw it across the room, and start beating up another 10 year old girl sitting on the coach. Only after having all 4 limbs pinned to the ground by staff for 20 minutes (still screaming obscenities for the first 10 minutes) was he able to calm down. It was scary. But what's scarier is this kid's background - which is polluted by every kind of abuse you can think of. What a sad, sad life. My heart is broken for him. Life is so so so not fair. But I believe some day it will be, and that's something I just have to trust.
I've wondered about these kids - who are put in the mental hospital with 10 other kids with similar backgrounds. Does the mental hospital even help them? Does removing them from a family situation and putting them in a situation where they are one of 20 really help them? Do they actually have mental disorders or is their family just too messed up for them to live there? I wonder. Sometimes I think that I should help them, do social work - I've got the experience to get into a good program (an internship this past summer, volunteering, pre-reqs) but I'm starting to realize why people say it is incredibly emotionally-taxing. Could I really do that? Hear that? And try to help that? But if I don't, who will? Who's going to help them?
I want to really do good where good is needed.
