My Grandpa Hatch passed away last December and I have been wanting to record my thoughts for a few months now. His passing is still hard for me every Sunday, because that is the day I used to go visit him for the past few years. I can't even begin to sum up how much visiting him helped me. It's an interesting paradox to feel both that you are extremely needed by someone and that you also need them. My "service" (if that is what you want to call it) helped fill a void for me - my need to serve someone else and feel needed. It also filled the void of being without family - he was my only family here and would often listen to me vent about any problem I was having, whether that be frustrations with school, work, or dating. I wrote a few things in my journal about Grandpa that I wanted to share:
"One thing I’ve always loved about Grandpa is that he is a great listener and conversationalist. He always asks how I’m doing, and even kept doing this until he could barely speak! He is so interested in other people and makes anyone who goes to visit him feel special, no matter who they are or if he will ever see them again. I remember last year, bringing a group of friends over to sing to him from my ward, and he wrote down all of their first and last names on a notecard and asked what each of them were doing. I am always amazed at his interest in other people and I think that is why everyone loves visiting him and loves him."
"I don’t feel like visiting him was always easy, it was a 20-30 minute drive one way every Sunday, and there were many Sundays where I felt tempted to skip it, because I was too tired or it was too inconvenient. But every Sunday that I went, I ALWAYS left feeling uplifted because service just does that to you. He was always SO grateful for the service I gave him, and when I would leave he would always say, 'I appreciate you.' He was one of the best people I know that used words to uplift others in a genuine way."
Every time I would call to say I was coming over for a visit, no matter what time of day or what day of week it was, he would always respond with, "That would be ideal."
He was also a great example of using humor to endure the challenges of life well. He kept his wit and humor to the very end. I recorded the following conversation gems a while back:
Me: (explaining details about apple crisp) Obviously you would like it!
Grandpa: Obviously, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Grandpa: Do you have false teeth?
Bethany: No, why?
Grandpa: Your teeth are so pretty.
Us: Do you like watching sports?
Grandpa: No. I stopped doing that years ago.
Us: What happened?
Grandpa: I grew up.
Us: Do you want to hear about our dating lives??
Grandpa: No.
Us: Do you want us to sing for you?
Grandpa: No, I want to ask you embarrassing questions!
Him: (in reference to ringing his bell incessantly through the hallway) It doesn’t matter how many wrinkles they have, I ring for all women.
Us: Grandpa, why you so cool?
Grandpa: Because it’s winter and because of her pants.”
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"My last few Sundays with Grandpa were special to me. One of my best friends, Bethany, came with me one Sunday to visit Grandpa, and then she never stopped. She felt the same magnetic pull to Grandpa that everyone did, and would follow up with me each Sunday asking, “When are we visiting Grandpa?” There were also a few Sundays when I was sick or out of town that she would go visit him.
A few Sundays back, Bethany and I went to visit Grandpa. (two weeks before he passed). It was fast Sunday (December 2014) and so we asked him how church was and if he bore his testimony. He said he had not, and so I said, “Well you should bare it right now!” and then he responded immediately with, “I know the Savior lives.” It was a simple testimony, but one that had been born and tested again and again through 90+ years of hardship, and he meant it. I felt the Spirit so strongly and he began to tear up. I knew that He was feeling the Spirit too, and held his hand, asking, “How do you know that?” and he responded, through tears, “Through the power of the Holy Ghost.” I will never forget his testimony and it’s sincerity. I count that moment as one of my greatest moments with him. Throughout the years prior, he would often express that he wanted to pass; that he had more friends on the other side than on this side, although he was mostly optimistic and would say he was just fine most of the time.
A few Sundays before this, maybe a month ago, I saw a printout sheet detailing Grandma’s death and funeral by Grandpa’s bed so I started reading it out loud just because. I read the whole story of how Grandma died and Grandpa started to cry and say that he missed Grandma. He asked me if I would fix the frame that had Grandma’s picture in it - it was tilting back so he could not see it clearly. I fixed it with a rubberband and he was so happy about that.
A few days went by after that fast Sunday in December and on Tuesday of the following week, I got a call from Aunt Joanne saying that Grandpa was getting sicker and declining rapidly. She said I should come by and say my goodbye’s. I came by, and he was in bed, unable to look at me or talk at all. He was in garments and tucked into his bed. He didn’t look good. I came by his bed side and tried to talk to him a little and hold his hand. He couldn’t respond. Eventually I left. A few more days went by, and eventually it was the following Sunday (2nd Sunday in December). I had planned to bring some friends from my ward to carol to him, but considering his condition, I decided to just bring Bethany and Nicole, my two close friends. Nicole brought her violin. I was surprised Grandpa had made it this long, subsisting on gatorade. It was so hard for me to see him in this condition - he had very labored breathing and then none at all, repeating this pattern on and off as we sang Christmas hymns to him. I tried to talk to him and asked him a few questions, but couldn’t understand any of his responses, although I knew he knew who I was and was aware of our speaking and singing. I held his hand while we sang. We sounded amazing (better than ever) and I couldn’t help feel that there were angels there singing with us, and he was very close to the veil. Bethany and I would sing almost every Sunday, and all three of us agreed that we have never sounded that good. It was an angelic feeling. I went home, really wanting him to pass soon. I prayed very intently that night that Grandpa would pass and knew that he would that night. The next morning I woke up to a call from Mom and Dad saying that he had passed in the night. I will never forget that experience as well as the one of him bearing his testimony the week before. I know that he will now see the Savior! I miss him dearly!
