giving back

Today I had the opportunity to read Michelle Peet's fourth letter from the mission field. She is serving in Temple Square mission and has been there for a week. Something in her let struck me because it reflected the exact way I felt on my mission, and something I feel strongly about now. Here is an excerpt from her letter:

"Sis Vinokurova [her companion] is so incredible. Her eyes shine with a love for the gospel even though she's been through hard times. She has no parents yet she still has such hope. It makes me feel once again so guilty that I've been spoiled with such a family as I have. It made me decide more resolutely today than ever before that I want to raise my children in the gospel. In fact, I've experienced a big turning point in my life today as I'm coming to understand more and more why I've been so blessed. When I can't handle the fact that I've been given so much, I feel the only comfort I find is turning towards the future and planning to live a selfless life. It's time I start giving my all back to others. That's why I came on a mission. The work is about OTHERS. Not your own comfort. Not even your own feelings. But to help others overcome their troubles by coming to understand Christ, to invite them back to Him. The last 21 years of my life have been about MY development, my growth, and my testimony. Today marks the day that changes -- I plan to serve 18 months to help others with their problems, and when I come home, I plan on raising a family so my children don't have to be confused but can feel and know that their mother (and father) loves them."

Reading this letter, my eyes filled with tears and my heart with gratitude. This was one of the main motivating factors on the mission and continues to burn strong in my heart now - the opportunity and obligation to give back. I've been thinking about this and thought I'd share because it hit me so hard as I read her letter. It's harder now after the mission because everything is about me. I hope and pray that opportunities will arise and I will be guided to find ways to give back.

Bump

A bump in the road. This is what I have been experiencing lately. Or atleast that's what Grandpa Hatch calls it. I think I would rather call it something like "lame." But that's just me. Kevin and I broke up. If you want to know more about, maybe someday I will tell you. But for now let's just say it's been the most emotionally taxing couple weeks of my life. Even though I really really cared about him, I know it was right to break up. I have never felt so much peace at the end of a relationship.

That said, I officially have no friends. I am not depressed about it. It's just another small bump after that last one. Making new friends, I've realized, is actually really difficult sometimes. It will take time.

I started this whole "making new friends" kick with a movie night...by myself. As well as hanging out in the library...by myself. And eating ice cream...by myself. Notice a trend?

I saw some sweet flowers by the temple today that just brightened my day.



The scriptures also continue to be my most honest critic and sure guide through all of this. A few days ago I came across this scripture that helped me realize that I have a choice:

"...because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility" [Alma 62:41]

No matter the size or difficulty of the bump, we have a choice. And being humble is easier in the long run.