Tribute to the Parents

I know no one even reads this blog, but it's therapeutic for me, so...

 Even though I'm officially old now, I still need and learn from my parents every single day of my life. There is something insanely therapeutic about hanging out with my mom or dad, even if it is just for a few hours. Seriously, if you're having a hard day, or hard life, just spend some time with these people and you will be feeling optimistic by the end.

 My mom's insane ability to serve in every and all ways to everyone is almost unhuman. She is LITERALLY spending all of her days serving other people, whether it be giving so-and-so a ride or the missionaries or...I can't even think of another way to serve because I don't do it like her! She is amazing. And her ability to listen and empathize is also unmatched - this past week I was struggling a lot and just needed someone to vent to and, of course, she was there. She never said, "Get over it, Lindsey" or "That's not that big of a deal." She is one of the best listeners ever. And she ALWAYS responds with complete and perfect faith: "Well it says in patriarchal blessing..." Never doubts. Most faithful woman on the planet. 

My dad's optimism and gratitude is unmatched by any other. I get my love of nature from him - every day I think, "I want to be up in those mountains right now" and I realized today that is totally him. He has some major problems with his legs and knees that prevent him from doing any running (and he loves running), harldy any hiking (which he also loves), and makes it hard for him to walk. Today I asked, "Have you EVER thought 'Man this stinks, why me?'" and he, completely genuinely responded with, "No, I would have no reason to think that - I don't know how I could even say that with everything else I've been given." Amazing. And he was completely serious. The most grateful man I have ever met in my whole life.

My good timber & Cat Spandex

This week has been hard.  Let's be honest, I'm struggling. Struggling to find purpose in the every day, struggling to understand why I have to endure five billion breakups, struggling to overcome the doubt and fear that come with trying to move forward and go on dates again, struggling to feel needed and loved in a stage of life and location where I'm not anyone's "number 1". It's been hard. Mostly it stems from the breakup - I've never dated anyone this long, and the hardest part to cope with is the loss of companionship. It's hard. I have felt super lonely; moreso than I have with other breakups in the past. 

So how do I cope with this? Cry myself to sleep. And then cry some more. And then make my friend come up to Salt Lake and make pumpkin doughnuts together, buy knit cat spandex, and buy a sweet road bike. See below --

I have found a lot of solace in the talk from General Conference by President Monson linked here.
Some amazing quotes/ideas that I'm still trying to wrap my mind around:

"The difficulties which come to us present us with the real test of our ability to endure. A fundamental question remains to be answered by each of us: Shall I falter, or shall I finish? Some do falter as they find themselves unable to rise above their challenges. To finish involves enduring to the very end of life itself."

"We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before. "

He also shared this awesome poem that I'm going to write on a poster and paint a picture of a tree on and frame for my house someday:

"Good timber does not grow with ease,

The stronger wind, the stronger trees.

The further sky, the greater length.

The more the storm, the more the strength.

By sun and cold, by rain and snow,

In trees and men good timbers grow."

 I guess this is my good timber growing. It sure doesn't feel "good," that's all I've got to say about that.

Just call me Starla.

I'm turning 28 in a little more than 6 months. I don't even like thinking about this. In fact, I don't think about it. I thought about it for the first time ever with some friends the other day and freaked. And I've been freaking ever since. It's caused some serious self-reflection. To be honest, I have loved my life up until this point. The past few days have been hard, but also good. I have really seen Heavenly Father's hand in my life this past week, and it's crazy how He meets my needs in the most unexpected ways. 

Here are some new changes in my life as of late:

• Jacob and I broke up. Blk.

• Weight-lifting is my latest thing. I've kind of gotten sick of running and want to try something new. So I've started lifting weights 3 x a week. And I know what you're thinking. No, I'm not aiming to look like this:

or this

In fact, women can't even physically look like a man unless they take steroids or do ridiculous amounts of weight-lifting. I'm really just doing it to be healthy. And let me tell you- I've already noticed a difference in how I feel every day. I have more energy, increased appetite, my clothes fit better, and I just feel great. In addition, even though I've been running less, I went and ran 5 miles today and I'm not tired or sore. It was actually really easy because my core and body is just stronger.

So there's my plug for weight-lifting.

• My new favorite food that I would honestly eat every day every meal is this:

Pho. Phe. Phi. Fo? I don't know how to say but boyyyyyyyyy do I know how to eat it in less than 5 minutes! It is so good. In fact, everything at this restaurant is gold. I had a honey glazed pork dish and also some spring rolls and, and, and....oh wait you don't care about what I eat, do you? Well you should! Because if you ate this, I'm just sayin, it would significantly increase the quality of your life. I'm so glad I've discovered this restaurant that is located only 5 minutes from where I live. AND the food is super cheap too.

So there's my plug for Thai food.

• My most recent favorite song is Roar by Katy Perry. I've listened to it 15 times today. At least. This is what I feel like doing when I listen to it:

 
So there's my plug for music.

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I have seen so many tender mercies this past week that let's me know, without a doubt, that Heavenly Father is aware of me and a very, very merciful being. I will share with you just one of the many:

Yesterday morning I was faced with all sorts of doubts and concerns and loneliness. I was worried about a weekend of feeling super lonely with no plans. Sure, this always happens after a breakup, and sure I've gone through this before. But I've never dated someone as long as I did Jacob. And I've never been such close friends with someone I've dated.

Then randomly at work my coworkers (4 other 2nd grade teachers) decided they wanted to go to dinner last night (Friday night). In some ways, I thought, okay this will be a good networking/bonding activity, but it probably won't be that fun, considering my coworkers are 49, 45, 40, and 27. They're nice people, but we aren't really in the same stage of life and can't have that much in common...

WRONG

It turned out to be some of the most fun I've had in a long time. In fact, I even ended up canceling my activity I had after because dinner was so fun and we ended up talking for 3 hours. They asked me about my breakup and they were all ears, letting me vent, and validating me like girlfriends do. It was just what I needed. And I learned so much from them. Their perspectives were definitely inspired. And the coolest part about it was that I would have never expected to feel Heavenly Father's love for me through them.

HUGE tender mercy.

Just to mention a few more tender mercies:

• hiking with my friend Sarah
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

•  randomly had a training in Provo on Tuesday this past week so I could get out of SLC for a bit
• General Conference this weekend
• I have only a half day at work on Monday tomorrow!
• My mother is coming to town tomorrow! 
• The kids were really good this past week and I had many special experiences where I thought, "Ok, this is why I teach!" Bless their little cute hearts.

xox

i wish i were a farmer...

....Or at least I do until I think about how much work it would be to wake up at 5 am to milk the cows every day and how my livelihood would depend on my diligence and work every second of every day and how I would never get a break and how animals smell and stuff...

And then I decide I'm content for now to go to the farmer's market and just buy the stuff... 

(Although someday I will own a garden! Mark my words)

What's this sudden interest in farmers? Well, today I discovered a local farmer's market. Maybe it's because I grew up in a household where 99% of the food was homegrown 99% of the year...I don't know...but I can't bring myself to buy eat a grocery store tomato. In fact, I bought three about a week ago, and they still rest, completely unaffected by a week of neglect. That is just not right. Their glossy, waxy, plastic outer surface make me want to gag. What a disgrace to food!

Ok so maybe I'm weird. Maybe I'm a freak. Maybe I just really loooooooooove homegrown tomatoes.

And I haven't even started on peaches. Or zucchini. Or pears. 

I swear, I'll never buy produce from a grocery store again.

But for real - it's amazing what this does for my level of happiness. 

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This morning the day started out by J and I going to the baptism of one of my current students. He was my student that cried at recess a couple of weeks ago because he hadn't seen his parents in a week and they apparently always drop him off at his grandparents' house (newly divorced). I feel bad for the kid. Really bad for him. Kids are amazingly resilient though. His baptism brought a beautiful spirit into my life - one of newness, childlike simplicity, hope, and gratitude.


I am so grateful for so many of the simple, beautiful things in life that don't change--

homegrown, red red tomatoes

windy Saturday mornings

open-the-doors-and-windows fall weather

gigantic mountains with snowy tips

fresh, juicy peaches 

spandex pants (yes, in all sincerity; don't judge me)

uplifting and edifying instruction from inspired leaders (RS General Broadcast=gold)

 the gospel in it's raw form - simple enough for a child to understand

a child's happiness 

covenants.

 

Lost in the Living Room

We tried to find this pretty hike called "The Living Room" in Salt Lake City. We didn't find it, but we found some pretty awesome things in the meantime. :) I love where I live.

a state affair

I've always loved state fairs. Maybe it's the weird food? The nasty, greasy food I only eat once a year? The rides that they assembled in five minutes? The hoochie teenagers? It's all part of the appeal. I grew up going to them, drawing about the Zipper and the Gravitron in my journal when I was 8 yrs old. Let's be honest, I can't remember most things about my childhood, but the Zipper I do remember. The Pirate ship? Clear as day. 

This year I went to the Utah State Fair. It did not disappoint!

 

 We saw lots of weird things/people...

Toll: is this a man or a woman?

 And lots of weird foods....

 And lots of fried (good?) foods...

 But my favorite, I think, was the Utah sheep ugly-sweater-contest-gone-eights-spandex party. This sheep had my vote, for sure:

 I told Jacob all about my favorite rides and just as we turned the corner, there it was. Shining brightly, carts twirling, people puking, and squeaking machinery - THE ZIPPER, ablaze in glory.

Needless to say, I realized I don't quite have the eight-year-old resilience I had the last time I rode it. We were both sick-tired for a good hour after.

24 Hair Ideas you probably don't wish you had!

 I got off work early today. So what do I do? Post 3 posts that probably no one cares about. 

This one includes far too many pictures of me. 

But..I've been wanting to post about this for a while. After all, I've kind of been obsessed with hair and hairstyles for quite some time. I think part of it is I kind of get bored with doing the same thing every day (whether that be running the same route, eating the same foods, doing the same hairstyles, having a boring monotonous job - it all gets to me). 

Whatever it is, I kind of have hairADD. If you have the same problem, here are some ideas for hairstyles if you get bored with doing the same thing. (NJP- no judgement policy and no questions about why I have all of these photos of myself...I lead a lonely life, okay...)

For long hair:

1. Long, straightened, side part

2. Facial hair/hobo style

3. The side pony with loose curls

4. Braid all the way around and end on other side with side pony (creepy smile to boot)

5. The makeshift mustache/long curls with front hair pulled up

6. The side fishtail with bangs you hate/love/hate/love/hate

7. Half up with front pulled up as well

8. The sock bun (put in ponytail, cut off end of sock, roll up and wrap hair around it)

9. Loose curls with 1 inch or bigger barrel curling iron

10. Wavy - with smaller barrel curling iron, don't wrap the hair around just make it "bent" with curling iron

11. Pretend like your hair has some natural curl and diffuse it. Then realize that this never works and do it again in 2 months with the same result. 

 For Shorter Hair:

1. Down, natural but curl edges with curling iron to make it look more "round"; warning: can become "mom" haircut real quick

2. Twist one side back and then barrett in it.

3. Straightened, half up with no bangs

4. Bangs + scarf (in pony or bun in back)

5. Braid and then tie on the side with small rubberband

6. Missionary helmet bun. Not actually cute, but some days you don't care about cute

7. Short braid with straightened hair, bobbypin at top

8. Half up, bangs, straightened

10. Side braid

11. Down, side part, loose curls with big barrel curling iron

12. Polygamist wife twisted ponytail