A bump in the road. This is what I have been experiencing lately. Or atleast that's what Grandpa Hatch calls it. I think I would rather call it something like "lame." But that's just me. Kevin and I broke up. If you want to know more about, maybe someday I will tell you. But for now let's just say it's been the most emotionally taxing couple weeks of my life. Even though I really really cared about him, I know it was right to break up. I have never felt so much peace at the end of a relationship.
That said, I officially have no friends. I am not depressed about it. It's just another small bump after that last one. Making new friends, I've realized, is actually really difficult sometimes. It will take time.
I started this whole "making new friends" kick with a movie night...by myself. As well as hanging out in the library...by myself. And eating ice cream...by myself. Notice a trend?
I saw some sweet flowers by the temple today that just brightened my day.
The scriptures also continue to be my most honest critic and sure guide through all of this. A few days ago I came across this scripture that helped me realize that I have a choice:
"...because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility" [Alma 62:41]
No matter the size or difficulty of the bump, we have a choice. And being humble is easier in the long run.
I saw some sweet flowers by the temple today that just brightened my day.
The scriptures also continue to be my most honest critic and sure guide through all of this. A few days ago I came across this scripture that helped me realize that I have a choice:
"...because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility" [Alma 62:41]
No matter the size or difficulty of the bump, we have a choice. And being humble is easier in the long run.
I love that scripture. It's like an egg and a carrot. They both go through a trial (boiling water) the egg gets hard and the carrot gets soft. Same trail-- different outcome. Okay. . . kinda weird, but I was really trying not to use the velvet ears again. Luf you. Miss you.
ReplyDeleteBTW: I think it is against the laws of the universe for you to be friendless. People love you.
I agree with Angela's comment that you will never be friendless - you are just in a situation where the friends are not close by, and you will quickly find many additional ones. I love your ability to move forward after a bump, and the scripture was inspiring too. You are such a carrot! (Thanks for the analogy, Angela). You girls are such a blessing in my life!
ReplyDeleteLindsey, that's too bad about the break up. After my mission I had a twisted paradigm of reality and was quite depressed. Dad recommended a book to me, "Feeling Good" by David Burns. You may want to take a look at it-- it has a lot to say about thought processes, self esteem, perfectionism, etc. The scriptures offer nothing in the way of psychotherapy, so I highly recommend it as supplemental reading. It really did a lot getting me out of the depression, and it has never returned (not that I don't ever get blue, but if I start to feel blue, I whip it out and start reassessing my cognative distortions and mental errors). -Kevin (NOT Jana)
ReplyDeleteKevin, I am actually just going through the normal recovery after a breakup. I don't think I'm depressed or abnormal. I think if I wasn't occasionally bummed out, I'd be abnormal. Ps. I already have that book. And I love myself.
ReplyDeleteDude, Lindsey, you go MOM to comment on your blog?!! You know you ain't friendless, then! Seriously, I'm sorry it's been rough lately. Breaking up is so hard, even if you know it's right and can feel at peace about it. It's just not fun and you are right, it's tough to start over making friends. But I have no doubt that you will indeed make friends again and feel yourself at home in your new ward. It just takes time. I love you, Lindz! And know that you are in my prayers as well (and I fasted for you on Sunday). You are not forgotten during this bump, my little carrot!
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