Smiling

I have heard from multiple people that I look intense when I'm concentrating. I usually just blow it off and just assume that people will get to know me and realize I'm normal. Mostly.

Until a couple of weeks ago. I was having an interview with my bishopric member on a coincidentally "off" day when I was more frustrated with dating than usual (or maybe that IS the usual now, Haha...ha....ha). I brought it up with my bishopric member (ok so maybe I went on a rant) and he informed me, after the usual comforting phrases "You're not that old." and "It could happen any moment now." (which totes made me super paranoid..."Is that him?"...), I went on to make the mistake? of asking him if there was something I should change.

He went on to say that I should probably smile more. He mentioned how my smile has a magnetic quality and how I look "more attractive" when I smile. He said that he gets an interesting perspective of the ward members, sitting up front during sacrament meeting, and that I often look too serious. He also went on to relate me to his daughter-in-law who "has a hard outer shell" but is "really a nice girl on the inside" (ouch).

Uh...I felt kind of uncomfortable with the whole interaction. Aaaaaand...maybe it's because he is basing his opinion on my level of happiness by my expressions during sacrament meeting...



Let's be honest, after much contemplation, I still stand by my opinion that this

is a completely inappropriate expression to have during sacrament meeting. So now I just find myself trying to make a gentle enough smile to be appropriate, but enough of a smile that I don't look depressed. This is usual what I end up feeling/looking like:

And then I just feel supremely awkward. I saw a girl the other day that looked like this the entire time during Institute.

The lesson was on the Atonement. I seriously considered asking her how she could maintain her perma-smile for such a duration of time, even when talking about such a sober topic. But I didn't. Instead I just stared at her in awe the whole time, waiting for her to blink/relax her face muscles. It never happened.

Is there hope for me? Is there hope for my perma-smile? Or should I give up now?

Chopped & Chocolate

This past week I

1. Got two grocery bags full of high-quality chocolate from 7 yr olds
2. Ate way too much of said chocolate, vowed to never eat it again in such quantitites
3. Ate two more doughnuts
4. Renewed said vow
5. Went on a blind date with a dude with the sweetest stache I've everrrr seen
6. Saw the winter sun for the first time in, what it seems, 5 months (it was delicious)
7. Chopped my hairs

 

 I kind of like it curly better...although it takes considerable effort to not look like a mom.

8. Crushed on someone for the first time in a long time
9. Was super vulnerable
10. Decided that "Balderdash" is the best game in the entire world
11. Bathed in the comfort of my bed sleeping in this morning
12. Decided I really need to read my scriptures more consistently and more in-depth
13. Read my scriptures and automatically felt different
14. Decided I'm going to sign up for a marathon in June
15. Missed my family & home

On Internet dating

In order to cope with the fact that I am actually even on an internet dating site, I have started to pull quotes from people's profiles that I find...interesting.  Only names have been changed.

 
"Hey there my name is [Bob], If your looking for a knight in shinning armor, than move on. Cause this knight has dented armor, and has seen the world."

"I've played around with these dating sites in the past and have met some pretty cool girls, even made some good friends, but it's time to get serious."

"I am a shy out-going person. I enjoy making jokes by doing a play on words."

 #9 on his list of why you should date him:
"I may not watch the shows on my own time but I am well versed in shows like the Bachelor and So You Think You Can Dance."

"Hi I'm [Jake-O] (as so my family calls me). I love mtn. Biking, snowboarding, four wheelers, motorcycles, and anything else like that. I thrive off positivity and when I get enough of it you will never stop laughing! Im an open book to most everything but to truly get to know me yes it will take effort but I can promise ya I'm defiantly the type of person that is worth having around ;)"



With so many options, and such compelling profiles, I really don't know which one to choose!

 

Good Morning, Bird's nest on my head

I needed to share with someone the monstrosity that I normally wake up to in the morning when I shower at night. Behold, morning hair (left). I had to spend a good chunk of time to make it look acceptable (right). 

Chinese New Yr & Every Day Teaching

This past week we have been preparing for Chinese New Year. We've done lots of crafts and such at school and the kids have loved it. This past Friday we decorated the middle hall with crafts the kids have done in class.

Me with Mrs. Hou (first grade teacher) and her son, Ernie

The loopiness is all because of Lortab.

Second grade panel: paper lanterns & dragon masks

And here are some pictures of me teaching in my classroom that my sister took when she came to visit in the beginning of January. Granted, my hair was not done, so I don't look very good, but they are probably pretty accurate nonetheless. :/

If the whole class is good, they get pom-poms. Once the whole bottle fills up, they get a class party. It's amazing what kids will do for donuts!

Here I am asking a question. Weirdest facial expression ever..but a great pic nonetheless.

Big C Canyon Snowshoe Adventure #1

Sweat 'stache

I love fresh powdery snow

The whole group

Crazy group shot

A discussion on the word "scalpel" and why it should never be used in a medical setting

To all the doctors in the world: NEVER USE THE WORD "scalpel" when speaking with a patient.

Why? Let me explain.

This is my current condition:

NO I'm not pregnant! What? You think just because I'm wearing yoga pants and a baggy tee and pointing to my protruding belly means I'm prego? Come on, now, be a little bit more open-minded.

So... I'm going to share some details with you that you probably don't want to know, but let's be honest, anatomy cured me of any body shyness long ago, and the world needs to know that there are some crazy smart people (doctors) out there.

So.... I've had this lump on my lower abdomen (about 1.5-2 in below my belly button line) for about one or two years. It has caused no problems until yesterday, when it swelled up about 3 times it's normal size and started to hurt.

So... I went to Urgent Care (I'm a little "Urgent Care" happy since I have great insurance these days...jk, sort of) to make sure it wasn't some sort of cancer growing inside of me.

The doctor was crazy, guys. Proof as follows(emphasis added):

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*after looking at lump*

Doc: Whatever it is, it's infected. So you'll need an antibiotic.
Me: Well, what is it?
Doc: It's too high to be a swollen lymph node, so it's either a cyst or a discreet mass. You have two options. Either I cut you open right now and try to scalpel it out or I refer you to a surgeon tomorrow.

Me: (in my head) Scalpel? What? Cut me open? What? But I wanted to go running...
Me: (outloud) Which one is cheaper?
Doc: Me.
Me: What if you can't "scalpel it out?"
Doc: Then I refer you to a surgeon.
Me: Uh, ok.

5 seconds later

Doc: Are you sure you're emotionally prepared for surgery?

Me: No.

Doc: Ok! *knee pat*

Doc: Ok, now I'm going to numb you up. *shows me fatty needle*

Me: Uh, is this going to hurt?

Doc: Yes.

Me: How much?

Doc: A lot.

Me: Um, like in comparison to giving blood?...

Doc: It will hurt more. I'm an honest doctor. I will tell you if it hurts, and it will hurt.

Me: *full body tense action starts* Thanks?

Me: oowwww owwww owww, tear

 Doc: See, I told you that would hurt.

5 seconds later, surgery begins
Doc:  I knew it was a cyst! I knew it!
Me: Cool.
Doc: Want to see what I just pulled out of you?
Me: No?
Doc: Just take a look (puts right next to my face)
Me: Ew.

5 seconds later
Doc: So now you have a hole in your stomach. If we were to sew it up now, it would get infected. So now I'm going to "pack it."
Me: Hole? Pack? With what?
Doc: *holds up sups long gauze strip*
Me: How deep is this hole?
Doc: About an inch.
Me: Ew. 
Doc: Come back and see me on Friday and we'll switch it out with new packing. Don't shower. 
Me: (in my head) But I haven't showered in 2 days...
Doc: You can take a look now! I packed it!
Me: No, thanks.

2 seconds of silence and solitude later
Me: *look at belly and only see 1/4 inch of gauze sticking straight up out of my belly*
*faint*  
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I went to work this morning, but apparently Lortab 

 

does not actually work, and it's painful to walk around. So my principal sent me home early. I wonder if she knew I would just be writing a blog post...